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fix_y0u_up15
15 September 2009 @ 08:00 pm
i'm going insaaaaaaaaaaane. i want something to take my mind off of all of this shit. i hate this constant feeling of discontent. i have rapid mood swings and they're pissing me the fuck off. i don't like sounding like a whiney bitch but i can't help but wonder why. i want to talk to somebody who can carry on a conversation.
 
 
fix_y0u_up15
19 June 2009 @ 08:11 am
what the dick whhhy? i don't understand why he's so mixed up all the time. he goes back and forth everyday and all i want is for him to be happy. i want to make him happy. i have to stop being such an ignorant bitch and fix this shit. i shouldn't have to dwell on these things but i do. it seems like i can never satisfy him when i try so hard. i should be happy...it's summer right?
 
 
fix_y0u_up15
04 January 2009 @ 09:01 pm
everything has been really good lately. besides the fact that i'm living in a house that is so new to me, i've been pretty okay. new years eve was ill until i puked fruit punch and stuff uppp when everyone was sleeping. patrick sno0ores really loud, but it's alright i got past it. i needed a night like last night. i'm glad we opened up to each other until 5:00 in the morning carly, i love you. i love you, i love kathleen and i love shaena a lot. A LOT. shit's good.
 
 
fix_y0u_up15
07 December 2008 @ 09:01 pm
i really don't understand why people see me as a bad person. i don't think i'm a bad person. yeah, i do and say dumb things sometimes but i don't purposely try to fuck things up for people. we used to be such good friends and for you to tell me that i'm a bad person and that i shouldn't complain about being miserable is just so hypocritical. i helped you out numerous times with the stupidest things. i just don't know what to do anymore. i am rarely happy. i hate being in school more than anything in the world. i constantly feel like everyone is plotting against me. i'm talking to dan gillard and he shows more consideration than you. like really? i have no one to talk to right now. i just want to smoke a butt, and i don't have any.
 
 
fix_y0u_up15
25 November 2008 @ 08:49 pm
charlie brown is getting to me, it's kind of depressing. they all look so lonely and weird and hopeful and i don't know why i think it's so sad. i really wish things were going better. i don't know. i just have not been okay for the past couple of weeks for various reasons. i hate how much i like you and you don't care at all. there's nothing i can do about it anyways. so much shit is on my mind all of the time, shit that normally wouldn't irritate me but it really does. like when someone says something slightly rude i take it to heart. i just want someone to talk to, someone that wont judge me or hold things against me. be that person.
 
 
 
fix_y0u_up15
21 November 2008 @ 07:39 am
i always end up fucking myself over in one way or another.
i need to learn when to just stop.
i honestly cannot deal with this shit anymore.

talk to me or something i don't know.
 
 
 
fix_y0u_up15
19 April 2008 @ 07:40 am
rereading all of these makes me sound like such a whiney bitch. i shouldn't complain over things in the past because there's really nothing i can do about it now. but as of right now, this is the most unhappy i've ever been. my mom's a fucking clit and thinks it's okay to call me ugly and worthless because she found out that me and ethan had sex. she wont let me go to his house and he obviously can't go to mine. all i can really do now is go to the fucking harbor which is awful. i've just never felt this upset before, it makes me sick because i feel like i have no freedom anymore. i just need advice of some sort, or just someone to talk to.
 
 
fix_y0u_up15
08 March 2008 @ 08:16 am
oh man, yesterday was random as hell. i've never hung out with mike before but it was hilarious. we went back and forth a lot though. and then sam came and we just drove around and smoked all day. it was a good change, since typically on friday's i always wait for someone's call which never happens, or i stay in and watch marathons of antm. i hate having unset plans, because they rarely ever work out. i realized yesterday that the best food from tk's are gold fingers, they're delicious. we also went to shaws and i bought a cupcake which was misleading because they looked so much better than they actually tasted. i saw joe bonomi. it was weiiird. i miss alec, i wish he had a cell phone so i could call, call, call him up everyday like i used to and annoy the fuck out of his friends. deeeum, i'm hungry. i wish aj's didn't close, their pancakes were amazing. ah whateva'!
 
 
fix_y0u_up15
22 February 2008 @ 02:44 pm
wow, this vacation was terrible. i really cannot think of a good day this entire week. last saturday my dad had a heart attack, so i had to visit him in the hospital on sunday with my mom, my sister and her boyfriend. it was awkward. then the rest of this week i basically just watched tv and sat around. yesterday would've been good if colette didn't try taking jalew's wine, freaked out and poured the majority of it down the toilet. then we went to scotties and she fucking threw up in front of the bench, anyone with common sense would know not to do that. after she threw up spaghettios, my mom picked us up and colette wanted to go home and she passed out in my car. it was just retarded. today i have to write my history essay, sucks for meee!